Grief Songwriting Template: Wake Me Up When September Ends
Research has shown us that the most impactful, meaningful music that we connect to and stays with us throughout our lives, its the music that we listened to in our teenage years or early twenties (Gibbons, 1977). This is because our teenage and young adult years are a formative period in which there’s an emergence of preferences and identity stemming from a clearer sense of self (Rathbone, et al., 2008). Basically, this is the time of our lives when we are getting to know what we like and who we are and we have clearer memories about this period of time due to a phenomenon researchers call “the reminiscence bump” (Glück & Bluck, 2007).
Research studies aside, this is a phenomenon we can confirm in music therapy clinical practice, especially when we assess music preferences and provide familiar music to older adults or clients with neurodegenerative disorders.
This is also consistent on a personal level, as I take inventory of my preferred songs & artists. Growing up in Puerto Rico but significantly influenced by pop culture of the United States, my preferred music is a mix of Rock Latino, Baladas in Spanish & American Pop & Rock.
One of my favorite Rock bands? Green Day.
It’s only fitting that the first grief songwriting template I share on my blog is inspired by the lyrics and the story behind their song “Wake Me Up When September Ends.”
Billie Joe Armstrong’s father died of esophageal cancer when Billy was only 10 years old. This song was written by him after years “avoiding writing” about his father and “finally having a breakthrough” that led him to write this song in honor of his father’s memory.
This is a song that honors those whose lives we remember and the grief reactions we experience in commemoration of their death anniversaries.
Questions for Discussion
These are some questions for discussion to utilize with clients during your music therapy session. Some topics to address or dicuss along with this songwriting experience are coping skills, support network, death anniversaries and anniversary grief reactions.
Who are you remembering today? What are some of the things that come to mind when you remember this person?
What feelings am I most uncomfortable with right now? What is this season making you thing about?
Who can you count on to support you through your grief in this season?
Are you giving yourself permission to grieve at your own pace, and in the ways you needed to? How so?
In what ways have you embraced or hidden your pain?
What has been helpful to you (to cope, to feel supported) in the aftermath of this loss?
Which words would you choose to describe how you are feeling after completing this exercise?
What are some of the lyrics that stand out the most to you?
Are there any lyrics that you would cross out, eliminate, or change? How would you replace them? How would it change the song to authentically reflect what you are feeling?
How can we commemorate the memory of your person through music in a way that feels nourishing, positive or comfortable to you right now?
Did you find this template today and it’s not the month of September? Substitute “September” for another word or leave it blank for your client to fill like this “Wake me up when __________.”
Download the songwriting template by clicking below:
Have you found this helpful? Send me a message to let me know ♡
References:
Gibbons, A. C. (1977). Popular music preferences of elderly people. Journal of music therapy, 14(4), 180-189.
Glück, J., & Bluck, S. (2007). Looking back across the life span: A life story account of the reminiscence bump. Memory & cognition, 35(8), 1928-1939.
Rathbone, C. J., Moulin, C. J., & Conway, M. A. (2008). Self-centered memories: The reminiscence bump and the self. Memory & cognition, 36(8), 1403-1414.